You are Attending a Con. What Now?

I am so buried under a fast reweite that I can’t think, today. So, I’m cheating. Please forgive! Last week, I did a seminar on cons and blurbs for RomanceDivas.com. Here it is for you guys, slightly changed, though with a tip-of-the-hat to the romance genre.

I have friends who want to be published, and who think that all they have to do to be published is to cut through the red tape and get me to pass along their book-pitches to my agent. They assume that every literary agent wants to “discover” a future bestselling author, who is, clearly, them, with their bestseller. Right? No.

 Even cutting through the red tape isn’t a guarantee to publication. Even with the red tape cut, there is still THE BIG PITCH. Then there is the proposal or the query letter. Then there is the synopsis and there had better be knock-em-dead writing at the end of it all. Even with an *in* there is the professional side of the equation.

 Back many years ago, when I was writing under the penname (hereinafter to be called my AKA), Gwen Hunter, I was asked to create the mystery arm of the Harriette Austin Writers Conference. I got to choose the agents we would have on the panels and dais, as well as the mystery and thriller writers who would be there, teaching and speaking on panels. I was, well, thrilled! Why? Because I knew a lot of people in the business, and I could pick and choose the best. And…I was working with a small group of 6 writers in the fantasy and mystery genres who were ready to be published. One of the writers was Kim Harrison. With great deliberation, one of the agents I chose was Richard Curtis. He agreed to come to the conference.

At that conference, I introduced Kim Harrison to her agent, Richard. History was made. She is now a bestselling author in the fantasy genre. Am I bragging? Sure. Why not? (cheeky grin) But I’m also telling you this because it matters to whom you pitch, and *how you pitch*. Two notes:
1. Kim had already pitched to Richard via query and been turned down.
2. Out of six writers I worked with, all of whom pitched to Richard at the conference, he chose only one. Not bad odds, but clearly it wasn’t a shoo-in, either, or all six would have novels pub’d by now.

Don’t despair. Most of the others found agents, got published, or found a publishing format that they liked, after that. And that part is another story, that we can explor another time. But Kim…well she was ready, Richard and she clicked, and he was looking for what she pitched. It was a match.

 Getting Kim and Richard together wasn’t as easy as shoving them at each other in a hallway for a five minute chat. First we prepared. For a month of meetings the entire group of 6 honed their blurbs and queries. This means that for, maybe, 16 hours we worked on blurbs, pitches, queries and *how to do it right.* Sixteen hours on just that! No gimmicks, just the rudiments of the pitch, blurb, and letter. Done right.

 What does a pitch include? A lot of info in a very (very, very) few sentences. But. First, a few conference *What Nots* that are totally basic. Nothing new, but just in case there is a rank newbie here…and to make you laugh!

 What NOT to DO:

1. Be drunk. (Seriously. Never have more than one drink an evening at a con.)
2. Throw up on your agent of choice. (I’ve been there when it happened, but no, it wasn’t among the well-prepared writers of my little group. Oh. It also wasn’t me.)
3. Chase the agent / editor into the men’s or women’s room. (I mean, really…)
4. Lie in wait outside his hotel room. (Especially if you bring a pillow and do it in your PJs.)
5. Bribe a hotel worker to place your masterpiece or pitch on the agent of choice’s hotel room bed.  (Been there with that one too. *HUGE* mistake. Talk about a panicked editor!)

 What NOT to say.

1. I write novels. (Uh huh. So?)
2. I write fiction. (Again, so?)
3. I write books. (Can you be any more obtuse?)
4. Ummmm… followed by a giggle, giggle, giggle.  (You are older than 12, yes? Act like a professional.)
5. I’ll sleep with you if you’ll rep my book. (I’ve heard all these. None worked in getting a writer published. However, I remember one agent who did get lucky. No, it wasn’t Richard.)

 And now a few very basic *To Dos*

What TO DO before the con:

1. Go to the agency websites of the agents.
2. Research what each agent reps and who they rep. Pick the ones who might interest you.
3. Make flash cards with that info and test yourself.
4. Star their names on your program and plan to attend their talks.
5. Plan a variety of blurbs and pitches for different agents.
6. Practice them in front of a mirror, wearing the clothes you will be wearing.
7. If you don’t own, then buy professional clothes. Khakis and blazer are good. Loafers or other flat heels. You will be doing a lot of walking. The shoes should be well broken in, so you don’t limp. Not needed: A suit and tie. And no sequins. And do NOT dress in the era of your historical novel. Oy.

 Like I said, basic stuff. So. What should you do?

Things To DO at a (small) Con:

1. Find the bars where the agents and editors sit. (Really. Even the nondrinkers will hang out at the bar and visit with each other.)
2. Find the agents and editors sitting there. They will be in groups. You must NOT interrupt, beyond a wave and a, “Great panel/seminar.”
3. Sit nearby and Listen. (But not if you look or act desperate or drunk.)
4. Dress like a professional. (see above).
5. Buy an agent a drink. Or get the waiter for her/him if she/he is in a hurry and can’t get served. Or if she looks around desperately and clearly forgot her wallet, pay for her dinner. When she then says thanks, shrug sweetly and say, “Just being at a con with the agent of my favorite writer, Faith Hunter [or whomever] is worth it. The talk you’re giving on Making the Sale is starred on my list.” Then she will obviously say, “Thanks. What do you write?” And you will…
6. Give the pitch.
7. This works best at smaller cons. If you are attending the RWA con, it will be nearly impossible to find the agents and editors as they will be at parties to which you will likely not be invited. If that is the case then you go to the alternate list of things to do at a con.

 Alternate List of Things to DO at a Con:

1. Attend every single panel and seminar given by the agents you have chosen.
2. Sit up close and take notes so you can be seen.
3. Try to act intelligent. (Don’t pick your nose and please have taken a bath. Seriously. Do not stink!)
4. Look attentive without looking desperate and stalker-ish.
5. Dress like a professional. (If you have to buy a new pair of khakis and blazer, do it. And please don’t wear flip-flops and ratty jeans or a slutty dress. {Holding my head at memories of trashily-dressed writers.})
6. Approach after a panel or seminar and try to get there first. (Without elbowing, bruising, or trampling other writers. And if you have a license to carry – don’t.)
7. Walk the agent to her next event. Do NOT hold her up and make her late. If she has a heavy bag and you have muscles, offer to carry it for her, and shrug and smile when she says no. Say, “Hmmm. I bet you’ve had desperate writers hold you hostage with that one.” Or something else clever. Then ask for her card.)
8. Be clever. If you aren’t a clever person, just ask for her card.
9. If you get a chance to pitch your novel, Do it!

  Next week, the BIG PITCH… It is your 20 second opportunity. It has to be right!
Faith Hunter
FaithHunter.Net
GwenHunter.Com